I NEVER KNEW……... That when your husband dies you feel like the world has ended nor that life would go on so slowly. That grief comes like in waves, so that hour by hour and day by day you can go from crying to being ok to crying again. That it is ok to cry often and then feel guilty because you are not crying. That taking care of your self is so difficult because you are still living. That what you really want to do it close the door and not let anyone in and running away would be so much easier. That so many people respond in ways that can make you feel worse, even though you know it was not their intention. That you want to write down all you can remember, to be sure you never forget, but can’t bring yourself to write even a word. That you will ask yourself a million times why but you will never get the answer. That it is impossible to respond to or accept that your grief was the will of God. That God would never will this upon anyone. That every time you go to Mass, you cry because it was such a special time for us. That if you try not to think about it, it will go away but it doesn’t. That the things you have always liked doing will not make the grief go away.That it is ok to ask for help. That just maybe some day you will emerge on the other side, whole again somewhat, but still without him…………...that all of these are new things you have had to learn and hopefully figure out how God will help you through to a time when you can say, Thank you God, for the time we had and for the family I am blessed to still have. And, sometime while you are learning all of this, you become aware of the gratitude you have to the many, many people in your family, your Church, and your community. So I want to thank all of you for the unbelievable memorials in Ron’s memory, for the hundreds of Masses, the food, the flowers, cards that I have yet been able to open. The memorial money for St. Vincent de Paul at Holy Cross will help many people who are in need to have food, clothing, or shelter. The memorial money given to Trinity High School has been used to purchase a 61 inch statue of St. Vincent which will be installed in the new library. It has been comforting to realize that some of things he loved and gave his time and heart to, continue to flourish: most noticeably, the Catholic Book Store, St. Vincent de Paul, Catholics United Credit Union, and his community work with downtown and other city involvement plus six children, and lots of grandchildren, and great grandchildren. So, with deep appreciation, I thank you again and you will share in the Masses and prayers continued to be offered for him and our family. God grant us Peace, Lovella Kelley